Wednesday, April 08, 2009

What happens when your world explodes?


Wow. After 8 years, my company is letting me go. My job function has been eliminated, and I am no longer needed. And there is nowhere else for me to go and stay here in my home, or so it would appear. I got the news over two weeks ago, and will be unemployed in less than two weeks. But today, for the first time, the enormity of this is hitting me. For you see, it appears no one else wants me either.


I have lost jobs before, been stunned into silence and stillness and sadness, but this time is different. I was riding high, things were looking so good, and this layoff came from so far out of left field I am still somewhat breathless. It is as if someone is sitting on my chest today, even breathing is an effort. We knew there would be changes coming, but no one was supposed to lose their jobs. And yet many of us did.


So I am another casualty of the economy, yet another statistic, one more bites the dust. I hate this empty, purposeless feeling. Today is the first day I have really just felt down, felt sad, felt tired and worthless. Maybe today is the day I mourn for my lost job. I hope it passes quickly. This feeling is so unlike me that I simply cannot abide it.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Not true. Plenty of people want you. I am one. You are more than your job or career. You are an intelligent, caring, empathetic woman. This too will pass. (...and I have a feeling I will be asking you to tell me the same thing at some point in the future!)
Lylas,
Frog