Monday, January 19, 2009

Oh thank god for my Frog


Everyone should have one person to whom they never have to explain, they never have to give the back story, that friend understands their life so well that no explanations are ever needed. After years apart, you catch up like it was yesterday. Such was my weekend with Frog, who came for some much needed girl time.


Frog has had a rough year, dealing with the death of her father, her husband's continued unemployment and trying to raise two boys to be smart and sweet and fun, while keeping their memories of their grandfather fresh. Sadly, her mother died before she even married and these little boys were born, so they have had no memories of Grandma W, and her husbands parents passed away a long time ago.


Watching Frog go through the agony of what to keep, what to give away, what to sell, what to do with all the awesome and amazing things in that house is teaching me a lot about the woman she is becoming. I never knew how strong we could be as women, as daughters, as mothers, as wives. She is pulling apart and dismanteling her childhood and trying to do it with grace and common sense, when each item tears at her heart, full of wonderful memories. As we watched chick flicks, ate chocolate and drank some good wine this weekend, I learned how gracefully she is dealing with this, trying to keep all the different people involved happy and included and how little support she has in dealing with this. And I wish I could somehow do more than just putting an arm around her shoulder and being here to ease the burden.


But for one weekend, the two of us were able to forget the burdens of being adults, forget the inhibitions of being afraid to sing out loud, and forgive each other for crying in pain and in love and just hold on to each other as old high school chums, piled on the bed together, thinking of the songs in the movie we saw the night before and how late we could loll around and not feel completely guilty for out lack of effort.


It was great to be a girl again for a few hours, it was great to be a girl with my Frog, and I intend in 2009 to demand more Fred & Frog time, because I sense we both need it. I know I do.


LYLAS, Frog!


Fred

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Happy New Year!!



Now that 2009 is a couple of days old, I have had time to reflect on the past year and think about what I would like to accomplish this year. I noticed I had posted some New Year's Intentions for 2006, and while I did achieve some of them, I think they are a good place to stay for 2009 (so what if I take 3 years to accomplish what I set out to do--they are my intentions and my timeline!). So here's the list from 2006:



  1. I intend to be more concerned about the people around me and how they are feeling and doing. I want to spend more time putting myself in their shoes to see their side of the situation.

  2. I intend to be more focused on my husband and his well-being. I realize that I have a true gem in him, and I need to be better about telling him that.

  3. I intend to take better care of my family. I want to be more family-centered and less self-centered.

  4. I intend to take better care of myself. I have so many self-destructive habits, I hope to eliminate them.

  5. I intend to grow spiritually, and embrace the Creator more closely.

  6. I intend to use my creative streak more often and enjoy the process, not just the product.

So where did I make some progress? I think I did a lot towards being more concerned with others, with being focused on my husband, and taking better care of my family. I think spending time away from home in my travels helped me become more appreciative of what I have here at home, and made it easier for me to find the little things I can do to show my love for others.


I worked hard on my creative side, but think I still got caught up in the end product and failed to take the time to enjoy the process. That is definitely something to work on. I know I got sidetracked with the flooding that threatened to eat many of my craft supplies, but have not yet finished putting everything away and getting organized. I MUST do that! So I am going to add a couple of intentions to work on for 2009.



  1. Get organized! Find places for things and things which have no place should go away! Work a little each day to keep the house, my spaces and my life organized and clutter-free. Get rid of more and buy less.

  2. Eat right, and help Dan eat right too. Stop nagging and start nourishing. Weight loss? How about 2 pounds per week? Sounds pretty easy and comfortable, and I could have a new me by mid-summer!

  3. Spend less. This kind of goes into the organization thing as well, as I want to be sure I plan better to spend less on things we need for the house. I have also come to realize that I have more craft supplies in the basement than the local Michael's, and I intend to not purchase ANYTHING for as long as possible. What if I reward myself with $1 every day I do not purchase something and fine myself $5 every time I do, plus the cost of what I bought? At the end of the year I could have enough for a new camera! Hmm, I like that idea. Then there is the whole budget thing, need to work with Dan on that. Maybe I should take over the finances? Not sure. I do know we need to work better together on them. Neither one of us thinks we spend a lot of money, but then in a month we spent about $900 at Pick N Save. Ridiculous for 3 people, though about $150 was Thanksgiving, so thus understandable.

  4. Take a vacation. With Dan. Alone. Go somewhere that does not involve working. Even just for the weekend. Maybe as a reward for our weight loss? Liking that idea!

Okay, that is enough. Ten things to work on in 2009. And perhaps this time I can make more progress and not take 3 years to accomplish some of it!


Happy New Year!!!!